I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
