Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
