i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
