Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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