What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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