Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
