My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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