She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
