i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
