i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
