around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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