I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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