So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
