you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
