...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
