Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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