Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
