I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
What a dumb baby whore.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
tell me about the eggs
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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