Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
