I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
