i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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