Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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