Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
