i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm too high and old for this...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
