i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm way too hungover for life right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
