GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
