girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
