I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
