why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
