I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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