week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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