Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
