there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
