proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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