he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I could make wine with my vomit
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
