We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
