Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This house was built for laser tag.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
