the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
