He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
