Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
