your room smells of hookers.
And success
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
