I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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