just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
