I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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