I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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