Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
