i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
