So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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