He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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