im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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