I'm really into asian looking animals
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
