we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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